Let him lead

Ok… so this picture is posted for two reasons… 1. because it is my all time favorite movie and should be yours too and 2. because he portrayed an amazing leader…

William Wallace, Maximus… there’s a reason why your men love these movies ladies… ponder on that a bit.

Becoming less independent was somewhat of a struggle for me… at first. 

Growing up my mother was very strong and independent, but I still knew my father had the last say so.  In other words, I knew my father was the leader of our home.  So letting the husband lead, by nature, is instinctive for me.  However, I was not fortunate enough to have married well the first time, so I was left to raise a 1-year-old boy on my own for seven years making me the mother and father of the home.  Seven years.  That’s a long time.  A long time for me to make the final decisions… me to call the shots… me to rule our home.  So when I married Trent, my instincts battled my habitual behavior.  I was always quick to answer to make a decision and had to condition myself to defer to my husband.  It was a awkward at first, almost feeling as though I was being stripped of something, but it wasn’t that I was being stripped of anything at all… it was that I was being relieved of something that was never meant to be my role in the first place.  It is my first reaction when being asked if we can have dinner, or make plans, to say, that sounds great, let me see what Trent has planned.  Even with Noah, my response is always, ‘I think that’s ok, let’s ask your dad, or I don’t care, go ask your dad.’  It lets him know that we do EVERYTHING together.  We are truly one, in every sense of the word.

Debi Pearl writes…

God created Adam and commissioned him to take the position of leadership.  Since then, every son of Adam has received the same mandate. Man was created to rule.  It is his nature.  But the only place most men will ever rule is their own little kingdom called home.  At least, every man’s destiny is to be the leader of his household.  To deny him this birthright is contrary to his nature and God’s will.  

 

She goes on to say…

It is NOT God’s will for your husband to reverence you.  It is not God’s plan for you to remain seated at the dinner table or in your lounge chair and expect him to serve himself.  Our modern society has conditioned us to expect him to serve us.  It hurts our feelings if he doesn’t do things that we feel he owes us, but that is not the plan God set into place.  Our failure to know and believe the written words of God has caused us to accept a cultural lie.

This one’s powerful…

Reverence is not just how you act; it is how you feel and how you respond with words and with your body language.  It’s like I said before, you have to believe it before he’ll believe you.  If that’s a struggle for you, just ask God to help you… ask him remind you of the good, of why you married him, and to allow you to focus on those attributes.

To lead his home was a bit of an adjustment for Trent as well… although it was natural for him to want to… for 19 years he wasn’t allowed to.  So having a wife that defers to him and reverences him has made him a whole new person.  He’s more confident, he stands taller, and he’s an amazing leader.  Leading our home doesn’t mean he just goes out and makes decisions without my input.. it does mean that what he decides is the way it’s going to be and I’m ok with that.  I love it… I love it when he takes charge.  I’m telling you, get off your self-righteous, feministic, high horse just for short time and serve and lift up your husband and allow him to lead and you will see a man who stands with his chest out.  You’re whole house will realign the way it should be. God’s design.