things that cross my mind while peeing

The one that jumped out at me today was squished toilet paper.  You know what I mean, the dangling piece from the user before you that grabbed the delicate tissue in both hands and pulled it apard as if it were a wishbone… therefore, on the dangling part, leaving wrinkled, squished toilet paper.  So then my mind goes to I don’t want paper that person has touched on my delicate private parts.  Who knows if they were in there picking their nose, or even if they are a hand washer in general.  Kinda grossed myself out in thought.  So I then carefully pulled to gain excess as to cover the squished part generously. 

There have been times that I will tear the squished off and dispose, but then I feel guilty that maybe that piece of toilet paper would be sad because it didn’t get to serve it’s purpose in life.  What if in the toilet paper world they work their whole life to get to that point, and then they are disposed of without use.  That would make me sad.  All the other toilet papers would talk about you and point and laugh and snicker.  Your toilet paper parents would be disappointed.  You get the point. 

Update on the battles… I am still winning the small battles, have been for three days now and have the blisters on my feet to prove it.  If any of you are in doubt, feel free to request to see these blisters, they are doozies.  If you see me walking with a limp this weekend, you know why.  I will pray against all blisters for any of you.