As promised… the pics

Here’s baby. (and do please note our immaculate green lawn in the background that he works very hard for!)

and Jen… see that little cover right behind his bum… that’s where I sit, there’s a seat under that cover!

He’s HAWT!

and just to make you smile… here’s a pic of our bear who just lost his two front teeth yesterday… they were both very loose and we knew they were comin any day now…he lost one eatin wings but was scared to pull the other for fear that he’d “look stupid”… so if you see the bear with no teeth… tell him how AWESOME he looks!

Jesus in my blood…

I tell everyone all the time how different I feel… since I became a believer.  I feel like the person I was before, died.  In fact, it’s strange to think that I used to be THAT person…to be the way I was and do the things I did.  In my memory, it feels like that was someone else.  And in a way, it was.  God’s grace IS amazing and until you’ve experienced it, you can never understand what I’m saying or when anyone else tries to explain it.  ’I don’t have time to maintain these regrets… when I think about… the way… He loves me’ – Jesus Culture.

So I was on my hands and knees cleaning my kitchen floor and my Addi says ‘oooh what happened to your arm?’  I had given blood a week prior at work and they blew up my vein.   It was a nasty bruise and for the most part I ignored it, but when I was explaining to Addi the whole story, she pointed out something that made me smile ear to ear…. take a look…

 

there is no editing in these photo’s folks.  The first is without flash the second with flash.  Again, this was a week after the needle lost it’s way in my arm… and I looked at that bruise on a daily basis to monitor it.  It didn’t look like that even that morning.  Talk about showing our children Jesus through us!  I always knew I had Jesus in my blood, now I have proof!  

Maybe I should list the photo on ebay and see how much it goes for!!!!  :)

Victory

so we spent the day together yesterday.  Our last available day alone before we had a house full of responsibility and joy!  We decided we were going to head to the witchita Mtns on the motorcycle.  We got up, headed to IHOP to share a Colorado Omelette and then decided we were going to run by our great friend Jim Anderson’s motorcycle shop to have the front pegs we ordered put on before we headed out.  well… we never left there… until after 5.  You see, trent fell in love with another… it was love at first site.  I’ll attach a picture of the newest addition to our family… it’s not the actual one, but you’ll get the idea… he won’t let me take a picture of him with her until we get her cleaned up.  Her name is Victory Hammer Austin.  Stay tuned for an actual picture of her and Trent together.

our Vic has mild ape bars and a different set of pipes… just like her daddy.  :)

yes.  we went in for pegs and came out with this beauty!  I’m sure you’ll see him on her this weekend if you look.

 

When I don’t desire God

If you’re returning, which I doubt anyone is… I found that part of my dry season is due to the lack of my writing.  My writing held me accountable to my reading.  And this entire blog came off of the first page, one paragraph.  Going forward, I’m treating this as more of a journal than an actual blog.  If your reading and enjoying, great… otherwise, it’s a great tool to pull out what’s in my head and communicate with my husband.  I communicate much better though my fingertips and most of the time when you ask me how I feel about something, I won’t be able to tell you, but if I sit down and start writing, it seems as though my feelings seem to pour.  So… on with my thoughts…

It’s been a VERY dry season for me.  I struggle with sustaining in most things.  Ie. Diets, blogging, creating worship videos, making memory albums.  I’m great out of the gate but lose the fire somewhere along the way.  I really kept feeling this happen in my walk with Christ in the last 6 months.  Although I still talked to Him, still worshiped Him, still felt His presence I felt the fire fading and I didn’t fan it.  I take complete responsibility.  And I know He wants me.  I know he hasn’t forgotten about me or left my side… in my minds eye, He’s just standing there waiting for me to ask.  Ask to know Him better.  So I opened our closet door yesterday and this book screamed at me.  When I Don’t Desire GOD How to Fight for Joy. Yeah, I grabbed it immediately.  I’ve had a hunger lately but I didn’t know how to feed it, until now.   

Here’s a true statement that hit me in the Foreword and prayer… “To be satisfied by the beauty of God does not come naturally to sinful people.  By nature we get more pleasure from God’s gifts than from himself.”  Sit in that for a minute.  I read that to say… to be fulfilled by the beauty of God does not come naturally to me… because by definition, we’re all sinful people.  It’s more natural for me to be happy from what he’s given me that just to be happy to know Him.  My One Prayer is to know Him better.

As my husband and I were riding his motorcycle down the long country road staring at the beautiful moonlit trees and night sky… I just started thanking God for the simple things I take for granted… the cottonwood trees, the smell of the night air, the stars, the long never-ending fields…and then it took my A.D.D. mind to what the world looked like before we poured these asphalt roads and strung these electric cables across His land.  I was sitting behind the love of my life taking the biggest deepest breaths I could to take in all that God-made air that was fresher than anything they can put in a fabreeze or tide bottle.  I’d give my amazing partner a squeeze when I got overwhelmed with emotion in thinking about how sweet God was to give him to me.  And I just started imagining with my eyes wide open that we were riding through these moonlit fields in the days of Christ.  Stop and think about that feeling.  It feels like my heart doubles in size when I do.  Like it’s going to pop out of my chest.   No alarm clock to wake up to. No bumper to bumper traffic to sit in.  No cubicle to drag into.  In my mind, I’d wake up at the crack of dawn to feed my husband and children and then tend to the wash and water.  Watch my children play in the fields and with ropes and dirt rather than playstations and DVDs.  Sinful temptations aren’t haunting my home in the fashion of prime time TV.  I’m such a simple minded person, that simple living is so attractive to me.  Anyway, back to the motorcycle ride, I started thanking Him… for the simple things… ‘thank You, for the trees…for the dirt… for the stars… for the fields… for the mountains… for the waters… the things that when I stare at them are so overwhelming to me.  Even the creation of man overwhelms me.  Sometimes I think just how cool it is that there are SO FREAKIN MANY of us in this world and not a one of us the same.  Even identical twins have different personalities and such.  I think how amazing it is that it starts with one little cell that multiplies and those cells know to create an ear or a kidney and what goes on the inside or outside.  I think how incredible it is that our body can heal itself.  Why do our nails and hair continue to grow but our lips don’t… or how do our bodies know not to form knee caps until age 2 or 3?  It’s not magic… it’s God’s design.  Louie Giglio brought truth and light to this fact by introducing to most people the substance Laminin. (here’s a snipit on Youtube)  Now there are some of you that will call what I’m about to show you coincidence or wave it off like everything else in life but the rest of you will delight in it, just as I did.  Let me first tell you the simple definition of Laminin is a protein found in the human body. It has 3 short arms and 1 long one.  Laminin is vital to making sure overall body structures hold together, according to Wikipedia.  Look it up.  Now take a look at it’s shape. 

“VITAL to making sure we hold together.”  That’s no coincidence… That’s God.

How anyone could deny Christ is beyond me.  My very favorite lyrics to a song are Nichole Nordeman’s “What if”…

What if you’re right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you’re right?
What if it’s true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it’s true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you’re wrong?

There’s more to the song… but that, in itself, says enough to me.  What if.

the end of Unsystematic

Now it’s time to say goodbye to Keri and all her blogs…

Thank you to all my good and faithful readers… all three of you.  If you’re still reaching Cindy’s blog through mine…now is the time to bookmark www.cindybeall.com

See you around!

Simple thoughts -> Attaction -> Flirting -> Innocent gatherings -> Cheating -> Affairs ->

I guess I’m pretty passionate about marriage because I know first hand what broken homes and blended families are about. 

If you think marriage is hard… try adding in ex’s, visitation, support, new wives, step mom for your children… the list goes on and on. 

I’ve been the daughter of a step mom and stepdad… I’ve been the mother of a son who had a stepmother… and I’m now a stepmother myself.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day asking her if she ever thought about how lucky she is that her parents are still married.  Not only are her parents still married but her husbands parents are still married and she’s working on her 8^th year of marriage herself… happy and healthy.  It’s just so rare these days.  Yet it’s the way God designed it to be. 

There was talk of a couple of coworkers up here at my work having an affair.  Which was shocking to me simply because I thought so much of this guy (who was married with child and one on the way).  Now note, that I still don’t know if it was/is true… but it disturbed me to no end none the less.  So much so that I wanted to leave him a note simply stating…

I know it’s none of my business… but I really feel led to tell you that right now, in this small moment of time, you are ONLY thinking of yourself.  You are thinking of how good this woman makes you feel superficially.  You are thinking of shallow happiness and self gratification.  What you are not thinking of is losing your wife.  Losing your children.  Being alone.  Not waking up with your kids, not tucking them into bed at night.  Your kids now being in public schools and daycare because their single mom is now forced to work.  You living in a crappy apartment or duplex.  You’re not thinking about what it’s going to feel like when she remarries and the first time your kids call someone else dad.  The thought of that man tucking your kids into bed and being there to play catch with your son and sit your daughter on his lap when she skins her knee.  And that’s if you’re lucky enough that she remarries well.  You’re not thinking about the possibility of a man that doesn’t have your morals and/or values or is a closet alcoholic or abusive being your children’s new father.  You’re not thinking of the mental damage you’re doing to the mother of your children and the effects that will have on them.  You’re not thinking of only the 4 days a month you’ll be allowed visitation.  Or the amount of Child Support, Medical Bills and Daycare you’ll be paying a month.  You’re not thinking of the damage you’re doing to your children… all for a simple pleasure from, ultimately, a strange woman.

It’s the same for us.  Think about sending your kid off to spend the night with your ex in some dumpy apartment or duplex… think about struggling to make it paycheck to paycheck… think about what floozy your husband thinks would be a great mom for your kids… think about what movies they’ll be allowed to watch or what they’ll be allowed to eat.. or 26 days a month doing it on your own.  Think about 6 weeks out of the summer not seeing your kids at all.  Think about the lack of attention to what tree they may be climbing or chasing a ball in the street when dad is on the phone.  Think about your ex not paying support on time or at all.  The court costs the on going arguments about the way two different homes have two different sets of rules.

I just think if people had a chance to prematurely feel those feelings listed above, the thought of ever remotely doing anything to split your family would never even enter their mind. 

Broken homes are horrible and damaging to everyone involved.  Blended families are hard work.

That’s all I have to say.

I’m proud

This is my side of the family.

This is my older brother Matt and his wife Jen

These are Matty and Jen’s kids… Jackson Eli and Megan Elizabeth

This is my younger brother Ben and his wife Teresa

this is Benny and Teresa’s son… Zachary (he wanted his picture taken on this big rock… it’s a boy thing)

and this is my daddy…

and finally here’s the handsome heart throbs….

like I said.  I’m proud. 

that’s it.

 

Thankfulness is a result of being content with God’s will

Ok, this is the last post on Part 1 of this book (The Help Meet).  I realize most of you don’t like to read the long posts… So I’ll try to throw in some shorter ones.. but not today.  Ha!

The very heart of reverence is extreme appreciation and profound thankfulness that this man, just as he is, has chosen to love me, just as I am.

I sat in that for a few minutes.  She used the word ‘extreme’ (intense… excessive… severe) appreciation.  Not minor… trivial… or inconsequential.  Are you TRULY thankful that you’re husband chose to love you?  That he picked you out of aaaaaaaalllllllll the other women in this world to stand beside for the rest of his life?  I am.  I don’t deserve my husband and I say that with complete confidence and no reservations. I simply don’t deserve him.  But God has blessed me with him.  And it is no exaggeration that I thank God on a daily basis for him.  When is the last time you audibly said, ‘God… thank you for my husband’?  Honestly.  I know I never did with my first husband.  Now, I did not have a personal relationship with Christ then, and maturity and wisdom has changed my mindset 100 fold. 

I believe that Trent and I truly are thankful for each other.  Not the ‘oh yeah, he’s great’ or ‘yeah I could’ve done worse’ but truly thankful.  I’ll be the first to tell you I’m no prize, I’m overweight, moody and have my own quirks… but Trent was in shock that I would be interested in ‘a guy like him.’  I know a lot of you giggled just now but it’s true, he really said that.  And he thinks I’m a catch (still not exactly sure why)… therefore he’s thankful for me.  And I KNOW there were women everywhere that would have loved to been Mrs Trent Austin… and he chose me.  I’m still in shock and we’ve been married over 2 years now.  We are giddy in love because neither one of us have the mindset that ‘he/she is lucky to have me.’  We both feel very undeserving of the other but yet receive God’s gift and appreciate it every day. 

When you stop appreciating what God has given you, you lose the joy. 

I know a lot of you are thinking, yeah keri, that’s great, if my husband was like Trent our marriage would be great too.  I am here to tell you that Trent has flaws.  He’s human.  You all see Trent on stage every weekend… and at home, he IS the same man you see on stage… I am a very blessed woman.  He has a passion for Christ like no other I’ve seen… and it is inspiring.  But don’t think our marriage is all butterflies and rainbows.  The only thing I can tell you is that I enable him to lead our home, I don’t emasculate him, I don’t speak negatively of him to anyone or even myself… he tells me everyday how beautiful I am, weather I’m straight out of bed with crazy hair and cat litter breath or I’ve spent the last hour getting ready.  He encourages me and lifts me up.  He asks my opinion and seeks my advice.  We guard each other.  If our priorities are straight (#1 God, #2 Spouse) everything else just falls into place naturally.  We tell each other all the time, you’re my #2 and that’s where we want each other to be, because that means we are putting God first. 

The thing you have to get past is to not accentuate his flaws.  I have flaws.  You have flaws.  We all do.  If I spent my days telling my husband the things I didn’t like about him, he wouldn’t want to come home.  When you first meet someone and you’re sitting across the table from them you don’t say ‘your nose is big’ or ‘your teeth are crooked’  because you are so overwhelmed with this person and have so much innocent love and attraction for them that those slight flaws don’t matter.  In the beginning you spend all the time in the world making that person feel special and lifting them up and letting them know you think about them non stop.  Is there any better feeling in the world than falling in love?  Yes.  Having that same feeling 2 years down the road.  10 years down the road.  We were so willing to put all this effort into our relationship in the beginning… find that passion.  Don’t just assume that ‘we’ve been married 10 years, he knows I love him.’  Remind him.  You did then.  He knew you liked him a week into the relationship, but you still drove by and left a note on his car with his favorite candy bar while he was at work.    

Marriage is work.  Team work.  You both have to work… daily.  It’s the smallest things that make the biggest difference.  A man simply wants to know he’s respected and a woman simply wants to know she’s loved.  You show your man respect and he will show you love.  It’s truly that simple.

Let him lead

Ok… so this picture is posted for two reasons… 1. because it is my all time favorite movie and should be yours too and 2. because he portrayed an amazing leader…

William Wallace, Maximus… there’s a reason why your men love these movies ladies… ponder on that a bit.

Becoming less independent was somewhat of a struggle for me… at first. 

Growing up my mother was very strong and independent, but I still knew my father had the last say so.  In other words, I knew my father was the leader of our home.  So letting the husband lead, by nature, is instinctive for me.  However, I was not fortunate enough to have married well the first time, so I was left to raise a 1-year-old boy on my own for seven years making me the mother and father of the home.  Seven years.  That’s a long time.  A long time for me to make the final decisions… me to call the shots… me to rule our home.  So when I married Trent, my instincts battled my habitual behavior.  I was always quick to answer to make a decision and had to condition myself to defer to my husband.  It was a awkward at first, almost feeling as though I was being stripped of something, but it wasn’t that I was being stripped of anything at all… it was that I was being relieved of something that was never meant to be my role in the first place.  It is my first reaction when being asked if we can have dinner, or make plans, to say, that sounds great, let me see what Trent has planned.  Even with Noah, my response is always, ‘I think that’s ok, let’s ask your dad, or I don’t care, go ask your dad.’  It lets him know that we do EVERYTHING together.  We are truly one, in every sense of the word.

Debi Pearl writes…

God created Adam and commissioned him to take the position of leadership.  Since then, every son of Adam has received the same mandate. Man was created to rule.  It is his nature.  But the only place most men will ever rule is their own little kingdom called home.  At least, every man’s destiny is to be the leader of his household.  To deny him this birthright is contrary to his nature and God’s will.  

 

She goes on to say…

It is NOT God’s will for your husband to reverence you.  It is not God’s plan for you to remain seated at the dinner table or in your lounge chair and expect him to serve himself.  Our modern society has conditioned us to expect him to serve us.  It hurts our feelings if he doesn’t do things that we feel he owes us, but that is not the plan God set into place.  Our failure to know and believe the written words of God has caused us to accept a cultural lie.

This one’s powerful…

Reverence is not just how you act; it is how you feel and how you respond with words and with your body language.  It’s like I said before, you have to believe it before he’ll believe you.  If that’s a struggle for you, just ask God to help you… ask him remind you of the good, of why you married him, and to allow you to focus on those attributes.

To lead his home was a bit of an adjustment for Trent as well… although it was natural for him to want to… for 19 years he wasn’t allowed to.  So having a wife that defers to him and reverences him has made him a whole new person.  He’s more confident, he stands taller, and he’s an amazing leader.  Leading our home doesn’t mean he just goes out and makes decisions without my input.. it does mean that what he decides is the way it’s going to be and I’m ok with that.  I love it… I love it when he takes charge.  I’m telling you, get off your self-righteous, feministic, high horse just for short time and serve and lift up your husband and allow him to lead and you will see a man who stands with his chest out.  You’re whole house will realign the way it should be. God’s design.   

Where… in the world… is Cindy K Beall (sung in the tune… you know the one)

Don’t fear my lost, misguided friends… she’s soon to return. 

She’s working franticly to remove that blue bow from her husbands head.

No, not really… I’d love to tell you she’s off speaking at a large women’s conference with Beth Moore but yet… I cannot lie to you.  My faithful 3 readers.  Yes, she screwed up her account and is working dilligently around the clock to fix it.  She has not bathed, not cooked, and couldn’t even tell you the names of her boys because she knows… you are lost without her.  I did speak with her… and the only thing she could murmer (in her best daniel day lewis voice)… was ‘stay alive… no matter what… I will find you!’